


Beneath the Stars

by goldthatglistens



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldthatglistens/pseuds/goldthatglistens
Summary: Spock knows McCoy is in love. (Spones in the TOS universe and McKirk in the AOS universe.)





	Beneath the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, I refer to TOS characters by their first name and AOS characters by the last name. Sorry if this is confusing! 
> 
> Also, I apologize for any grammatical/spelling errors; English is not my strong suite.

 

 

 

> " _I believe there is another world waiting for us, Sixsmith. A better world, and I’ll be waiting for you there. I believe we do not stay dead long. Find me beneath the Corsican stars, where we first kissed_." - David Mitchell

 

 

 

It was strange to look upon the crew of the Enterprise. It was rather like looking upon your reflection in a rippling pond; the resemblance is clear, but there are many minute differences.

The strangest to look upon for Spock was not his counterpart self, but rather Leonard McCoy. In his universe, Leonard McCoy was a smaller man with a slim build. His face was rounder and his hair smooth. In this universe, Leonard McCoy was built, with broad shoulders with a narrow face and spiky hair.

Yet there was a significant resemblance in the way they spoke, in their personalities, their sayings, and their raised eyebrow of disbelief. Despite their physical differences, Spock was able to quickly point out this McCoy the moment he walked into the bridge.

However, this McCoy was more bitter, more angry. This McCoy was like Leonard on a permanently bad day; Spock doesn't believe he's ever seen him smile. Spock wondered what differences to the timeline made him so unhappy.

Spock's Leonard was a grump with a hot temper, but he always had an endearing smile and, dare he say, adorable bounce. Spock remembers during his time on the Enterprise when the doctor would argue with Spock; when he thought he gave a particularly good comeback, he would smile and bounce. Spock remembers how that tore him inside; his Vulcan side fighting for control over the wild emotions that took hold whenever Leonard spoke to him. He told Leonard later that this is why he was so argumentative with Leonard, because he was afraid to come to terms with his feelings for Leonard.

Leonard just laughed and told Spock that he did it because he liked to get a rise out of Spock, like a boy pulling the pigtail of a girl he likes. (Spock still doesn't understand that simile.) He liked to remind Spock he was half human.

Leonard also whispered, late at night in bed, that he was too scared to show his feelings to Spock, afraid that Spock would never return them. He told Spock about all the "Good luck’s” and "Be safe’s” that he whispered after Spock had left. Spock had held Leonard tighter and responded that he has always cared deeply for Leonard's safety, even if he never verbalized it.

When they were older, Spock confided in Leonard about the illogical insatiable need to touch Leonard's hands. When Leonard was ill or injured, Spock was there, cupping his face and holding his hands, even when they were very young on the Enterprise.

He regretted that it took him so many years to build up the courage to love Leonard. Perhaps if he had been more open, more courageous in his younger days he would have had decades more with Leonard.

Perhaps he would have gained the courage to tell Leonard about the strange squeezing of his heart when he saw Leonard smile. Maybe he would have been able to say that Leonard's smaller frame made him feel illogically over protective, especially when Leonard got thinner and frailer, even though he knows Leonard is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. And he might have been able to say, "I love you," tens of thousands of more times. Spock knows it is illogical to repeat a sentence that is well understood, but when he gets older and more sentimental, he understands the need for the assurance and the beating of the phrase into his memory.

However, Spock is grateful for the years he had with Leonard. Besides the years on the Enterprise, those had been the years when he was in his greatest mental state. When he was the happiest.

Leonard had wanted Spock to move on after he died. He said it was only logical because Spock would be alive so much longer after Leonard died. Spock like always, disagreed. There would be no one like Leonard ever again; he is irreplaceable.

And when Spock met the alternative McCoy, he thinks he is quite right. There is and will never be anyone like his Leonard.

However, when he sees this McCoy develop a look of longing, the same look Spock saw on his Leonard when he was with Spock in old holograms of his time in the Enterprise, Spock decided that he had to take action despite his promise not to meddle in the timeline. He decided there was no use having two McCoys languish in loneliness and solitude, when with just a nudge, he could fix it.

Spock arranges an audience with the new Spock and McCoy. To his surprise, neither Spock or McCoy exhibit any sense of wanting to be together. He decided that maybe the strangeness of meeting with him has made Spock and McCoy too uncomfortable to show their feelings.

Spock then observes from a distance. He sees the look of longing when McCoy is with groups including Spock, yet bizarrely a good twenty five percent of the time, McCoy doesn't. Spock determines that percentage too high to be insignificant and hypothesizes that perhaps it is not Spock that McCoy is pining for, but rather someone else on the Enterprise.

Spock also observes his counterpart for good measure. The other Spock doesn't react in the slightest to McCoy; they argue, yet only occasionally, and their arguments lack the passion that his arguments with Leonard evoked. The other Spock seems quite besotted with Nyota. The other Spock also seems less repressed than he himself had been at that age. This reassures Spock because if the other Spock had feelings for McCoy, he would be able to express them.

Spock goes back to attempting to determine who McCoy is in love with. He decides to start with the main crew of the Enterprise. He determines it's not Scotty (besides a love of alcohol, they share nothing alike), not Nyota, not Sulu or Checkov.

The answer hits Spock: it's Kirk. Spock is surprised. His Leonard had absolutely no romantic feelings for Jim. They were best friends, yes, but only friends. Though Leonard viewed Jim as the best of men, Jim was too confident, too prideful, and too vain for Leonard to view as a romantic partner, not to mention he was completely not monogamous. In his romantic partners, Leonard liked stability, humility, and sharing. Leonard liked Spock.

But then again, this Kirk different from Jim. Kirk is still headstrong and confident, yet has a larger vein of insecurity left by the death of his father. He was still vain, but listened to other people more than Jim ever did. He is still prideful, yet had a goofy sense of humor that was never present in Jim.

Now Spock just must determine if Kirk is in love with McCoy. That is surprisingly easy. Spock is unsure how he missed the immense longing in Kirk's eyes, the touches he gives McCoy, and the once overs he gives McCoy when he thinks no one is looking. Spock is surprised no one else has called Kirk out on it.

Spock then considers something he would have never done before: talking to McCoy about Leonard. He gets McCoy alone and talks to him about his universe. He tells McCoy about how he loved Leonard, and tells him about all the things he wished he told Leonard, and about how much he loved Leonard. When he is finished, McCoy interrupts him.

"Are you trying to tell me that Spock is in love with me?" asked McCoy. McCoy waves a finger in Spock’s face.  "Because I can't atone for all your past mistakes."

"I'm sorry, doctor," said Spock. "I admit I got a little carried away. I am trying to tell you that you shouldn't depress yourself from the person you love. You'd be surprised to find that he loves you back too."

"Look, I'm sorry, man," said McCoy. "But, I'm not in love with Spock. Nor will I ever be."

"I understand that, doctor," responded Spock. "I'm not talking about Spock."

McCoy's eyes widen in understanding.

“That is all I wish to say,” said Spock. “You may go.”

McCoy’s brows furrowed, but he turned to leave. When he got to the doorway, he stopped.

"I'm sorry about your Leonard McCoy," McCoy said. He pauses. "I grieve with thee."

Spock feels his heart contract. He takes a deep breath but can only make out one word, "Go."

And McCoy leaves. Spock feels as though he has been ripped in two.

Spock observes McCoy and Kirk for the next few weeks. They seem happier, brushing their hands together when they think no one is looking.

It is two months later, near the end of their leave on earth that Spock sees the true changes that he has wrought.

McCoy was sitting on a park bench with Kirk all but glued to his side. McCoy had his arm around Kirk and Kirk had buried his nose into McCoy's neck. The wrinkled grumpy expression on McCoy's face had smoothed. Kirk said something and McCoy broke out into that familiar beaming smile Spock had seen so often on Leonard.

Kirk rubbed his nose into McCoy's neck. McCoy laughed and somehow _bounced_ while still sitting on the park bench.

Spock left before they could see him. If he were human, he would have looked up at the stars and wondered if he would ever be reunited with Leonard. He would have sat at his and Leonard's favorite spot and wondered if there is an afterlife, if the frayed strings of his bond with Leonard will ever be healed.

But Spock is half Vulcan; he merely looks straight ahead as he walks home, feeling that the ache in his heart has slightly subsided.

Leonard McCoy is happy in this universe, and that is all that matters.


End file.
